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Jokes topic (Do not enter if easily offended)

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A rather ‘frustrated’ woman went to the supermarket to try
to take her mind off her overly erotic thoughts.
As she moved through the aisles she saw bananas and
apples and so many things that made her recall
rather than forget her erotic mood.
She ended up buying far more than she needed.
When she arrived at the checkout there was a young man packing bags.
As he packed her bags his muscles
gleamed under the fluorescent lights and she could make out the
contours of his fit body under his tight
T-shirt and trousers. She could hardly control herself.
After she paid she asked the young man if he could help her to her
car with her many heavy bags of groceries.
The young man willingly obliged.
As they walked through the carpark the lady finally lost control.
She placed her hand on the young man’s bum and said “I have an itchy pussy”.
To which the young man replied
“You’ll have to show me where it is ’cause all these Japanese cars look the same to me”

  • Haha 3

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A new Red Indian baby was born with one bollock. In the time honoured tradition he was named Onestone! When Onestone reached manhood he was getting very pissed off at being called Onestone so he stood on the speakers rock and said that he would kill anyone else who called him Onestone from that day onwards. A few days later a beautiful squaw called Blue Bird comes to the village, sees him and shouts, hi there Onestone, how is it hanging?
Well Onestone loses it, drags her into his Teepee and shags her solidly for two whole days and two whole nights until she dies of exhaustion!
A couple of weeks later, another young beauty called Yellow Bird arrives and you have guessed it, shouts hi there Onestone! He grabs her by the hair, drags her off and shags her for a solid week and she just sighs and begs for more. Well old Onestone cannot fathom this so goes off to the wise and venerable chief and asks him why the **** she has survived to which the chief replies,

You heap big idiot, everyone knows that you cannot kill two birds with Onestone!
  • Haha 1

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A young Red Indian boy asks his father, "tell me father, how do we get our names?"  The the father looks at him and says,  "Well it's it's easy, as soon as the baby is born, the Shaman looks out of the teepee and the first thing he sees is what becomes your name,  Hence your sister is called Bluebird, your grandfather is Golden Eagle, etc etc, anyway why do you ask Two Dogs Shagging?

Edited by dodgy-alan
  • Haha 1

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A young chinese boy one day asks his father,  " Father , how do we get our names? " His father replies, "When you are born, I take all of the cutlery out of the draw and throw it in the air and as it lands on the floor, the first three noises become your name, Hence your sister is Ying, Twang Tonk, Your mother is Ping Ting Yong etc. " The boy looks puzzled, "Well I get the idea, but why am I called, Yang Twang Bugger, The Knife's Stuck In My Foot?"

Edited by dodgy-alan

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