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CAT3508

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    Australia

Everything posted by CAT3508

  1. HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me! In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP). And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began. And that's the truth.
  2. Word(s) association game

    Could have put down the obvious, but I shall refrain.
  3. Service Chief Wades into PC Row All 3 services are suffering from the same ridiculous pressure to pretend they are like normal society when they patently are not due to the very special nature of their roles; which still includes an obligation to defend the freedom of everyone to spout politically correct drivel.An example of the problem (based on the RN but no doubt the Army and RAF have similar tales to tell):"The Royal Navy is proud of its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels during Brexit negotiations, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence.The next five ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist. Costing £1,050 million each, they meet the needs of the 21st century and comply with the very latest employment, health and safety, and human rights laws.The new user-friendly crow's nest comes equipped with wheelchair access. Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims. Stress counselors and lawyers will be on duty 24 hours a day and each ship will have its own industrial tribunal.The crew ratio will be 50/50 men and women, balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexual preference and disability. Sailors will only have to work a maximum of 37 hours a week in line with Health and Safety rules, even in wartime. All the vessels will come equipped with a maternity ward and nursery, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco.Saluting officers has been abolished because it is deemed elitist, and is to be replaced by the more informal "Hello Sailor". All information on noticeboards will be printed in 37 different languages and Braille. Crew members will now no longer be required to ask permission to grow beards or mustaches, and this applies equally to male crew members.The MoD is working on a new "non-specific" flag because the White Ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities and Frenchmen. The Union Flag has already been discarded.The newly re-named HMS Cautious is due to be commissioned soon. She will glide gently into the water as the band of the Royal Marines plays "In The Navy" by The Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of illegal immigrants across the Channel from France to ports on England 's south coast."
  4. It's going to be a rather horrible day here in Victoria, with temps forecast to reach 44 deg. C, with gusty Northerly winds, bringing the fire rating to extreme. I'm in the process of renewing my old evaporative air-conditioner, so lets hope it lasts the day.
  5. Word(s) association game

    "Now is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is perhaps, the end of the beginning" A quote made famous by Winston Churchill in 1942, after the 2nd battle of El Alamein
  6. Word(s) association game

    Nucleic acids, the building blocks of Life
  7. Extreme heat today

    Thanks for the thoughts guys, Temp just nudged past 42 deg, and the wind is picking up, with lots of dust, horrible!!!
  8. Word(s) association game

    Venus De Milo, she's pretty Armless !!
  9. Caption the picture!

    Hi Guys, sorry for the delay in choosing a winner, didn't realise it was up to me. But have had a few subtle reminders, so here it is. Honourable mention: (Holdit) "Randy Sky Van spots possible mate" And the winner is: (Dodgy-alan) "We've got this flight thing licked!" Take it away Alan
  10. Taking the Cat to Broome

    In Broome’s Roebuck Bay, 30 mins walk from Town Beach is a sunken armada of historic flying boats from World War II. No other place in the world has such a collection of rare and historically significant flying boats. All 15 were sunk in a matter of minutes of each other, destroyed during an air raid by nine Mitsubishi A6M.2 ‘Zero’ fighters of the 3rd Kokutai (Aircraft Group), Imperial Japanese Navy, on 3 March 1942. creating a snap shot of a tragedy in Australia’s aviation history. Six of the Catalina Boat Wrecks are visible at tides less than 0.86m.
  11. Word(s) association game

    Dog Bolter, a lovely drop from a Boutique brewery in Fremantle, Western Australia
  12. Just to wish all the members of this forum, a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Have enjoyed reading and subscribing to the various forums, over the past year. Cheers, Neil
  13. Word(s) association game

    Arrested development !
  14. Word(s) association game

    Gaffer Tape, not to be confused with Duct Tape.
  15. Trans Australian

    TAA, Up up and away, with TAA, the friendly way! , remember it well.
  16. I just got back from a friends funeral who sadly drowned last week. I took a load of abuse for my floral tribute, that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I said to everyone at the service, it's what he would've wanted...
  17. Word(s) association game

    "Peace in our Time" as quoted, by a sadly deluded Neville Chamberlain.
  18. Word(s) association game

    The Night Manager, with Hugh Laurie, really enjoyed watching the series.
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