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  1. 6 likes
    An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
  2. 5 likes
    A Police Officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, in a quiet side street, he sees a couple in a car with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car. There is a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a well-stacked young woman, in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the Officer walks to the car and gently taps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window and says "Good evening Officer." The trooper asks "May I ask, what are you doing?" The young man says "I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the Officer says: "And, the lady in the back seat, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails." Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, late at night in 'Lover's Lane' and nothing obscene is happening! He asks: "What is your age, young man?" The young man replies "I am 22, sir." The trooper asks: "And how old is the young lady?" The young man looks at his watch and says "She will be 18 in eleven minutes".
  3. 4 likes
    Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
  4. 3 likes
    Hi Guys, Hope all is well with all, I've a few shots here of EZY28VU approaching Hurghada Egypt, after almost five hours of flying from Gatwick. Coming down with Hurghada coming into view, we'll go straight over the top of the airport Turning final for the RNAV approach for runway 34L "500" "Stable" Parked on stand after 5hrs 4mins of flying; but no rest for the wicked. It's time to turn the aircraft round and head straight back to Gatwick "Thrust set" "Rotate" Thanks for viewing TRB
  5. 2 likes
    Hi all ! After I had to drop out of the second part of my Australia tour last winter due to lack of time, I'm back in the air... With the return of beautiful days, I decided I would this summer explore in depth the coast of PNW and the Tongass Fjords where I installed most of Return to Misty Moorings stuff over the years. To take my time looking at things and to land on small lakes and rivers, I chose to do it in an Ultra Light with floats from where I can really enjoy the scenery ( I've also sometimes done parts of it on the water with my Malibu fast boat...) So here we go for a tour of log cabins by the lakes, river camps, remote places, bear observatories, and of course stops at every "Brad's Bait and BBQ" on the way... I will be starting from Bella Coola Marina and try to see as much as possible up north to as far as I can go until October, weather permitting - as usual always flying real time and real weather - ( Sitka, Haines ... maybe Yakutat and the Copper River ? ) We will see ... Scenery : FSX Gold - Orbx PNW / PFJ / SAK - UTX Canada Alaska - FS Addon Tongass Fjords - Return to Misty Moorings freeware - Flight Environment X 2.0 Airplane : Ant's Drifter Floats Plane and Boat Traffic : Ultimate Traffic 2 - Orbx PNW GA traffic - Henrik Nielsen's AI Boat Traffic - RTMM shipping Weather : Pilot's FS Global Real Weather
  6. 2 likes
    OK. This is it. The final leg. What a journey. Along the way I've learnt many of the systems of the lovely L-410 (in particular the altimeter) and now we come to the home stretch and the thought of, what next... I had some company on the stands from an old (X-Plane 9 freeware) Transal. I was nice to not have to worry too much about mountains on either side, however there were some very tough challenges with this leg. Whilst I was able to successfully find the confluence of the two rivers for our first waypoint, the second flumoxed me so I gave it up as a bad idea and went onto the others. Rolled into SCLN easy enough. HUH? Somethings not right at Constitución. Turns out that there were no high zoom level images for some of these later airfields, so I had to go back and redo the Orthos and kept the ZL at 16 (I'm using ZL16 as standard then ZL18 within 2Km of airports) Wait... so after I went and fixed the terrain you're telling me I DIDN'T have to do a TNG @ SCCT or SCIC? Meh, I did it anyway, I need the practice....' AGAIN with the ZL? Well stuff it, not fixing it, MUST FINISH MEBAR! I think I managed to find a couple of Easter Eggs too. @wain did you see any of these? A beach side pool??? Why not just swim in the sea? Oh. Right. Sharks (with fricken laser beams). Whilst I wasn't about to pop any party pills like ol' PacMan here, I was starting to get hungry. And finally, there she was off to starboard. Radiant Santiago. TOUCHDOWN! I think I earned my frothies just from the length of that taxi from the main runway! And that was it. My South American journey was over. I've flown for a couple of weeks (real time) around some incredible country I'll probably never have a chance to visit in real life. Here's some stats from my journey. First Screenshot taken: 16/04/2017 Last Screenshot taken: 06/05/2017 Tools used: SkyVector.com, Plan-G, FlightPlanConverter Aircraft Used: LET L-410 UVP-E http://x-plane.hu/L-410/ Sim: X-Plane 11 Total Size of Ortho Tiles generated: ~170Gb Screenshots taken:Too many to count! I had so many that not even all of them made it to my photo storage. All the rest can be viewed here: https://beejay-n-ami.smugmug.com/Hobbies/Flight-Sim Thanks again to the organisers and to your dear reader for trolling through my photos/screenshots. I'm very aware that this was probably not conducted with the strictest adherence to the Rally Rules but this for me was a chance to learn and have fun which I hope you all did!
  7. 2 likes
    Fred and George were sitting talking,Fred has his dog with him. All of a sudden the dog spins round and starts licking his arse. George looks at the dog and then says"I wish I could do that." to which Fred replies, "Well if you give him a biscuit he might let you!"!
  8. 1 like
    HAHA Well he's most welcome to do that TnG in cloud himself then Seriously though I had a LOT of fun and learned a bunch!
  9. 1 like
    Great synopsis of your MEBAR flights BeeJay and nice shots along the way. Glad to see you enjoying the rally and learning while you are at it. Although Andrew, our flightplan wizard, is probably not to happy about you missing those landings and waypoints I still give you two pats on the back for not only posting this fine PIREP but for sticking it out and finishing what you started.
  10. 1 like
    Nice PIREP of your trips. You found some nice scenery for some of the fields visited. Great views, and that airplane looks like a good choice for the event. Thanks for sharing your adventures.
  11. 1 like
    Nice flights, thks for sharing. Having flown myself through most of South America in GA Planes ( Aeropostale 2015 - Recife down to Ushuaia and Buenos Aires to La Paz across the Andes - and Down the Amazona 2016 ) I totally agree there are incredibly beautiful places !
  12. 1 like
    Move along, move along... Nothing to see here. Next post folks.